Talk in Church

I was asked to speak in church a few weeks ago. I got the phone call on Thursday night. I was told to pick one of talks from the most recent conference edition, and let them know what talk I picked to focus on. After pulling out the Ensign, I felt very drawn to the talk "Lamentations of Jeremiah: Beware of Bondage" by Elder Quentin L. Cook. Immediately I knew I needed to share our story of getting into and out of debt. I asked Marc if he was ok if I shared it from the pulpit and he agreed, as long as I proceeded with sensitivity.

Here's an idea of what I said:

My husband has been working hard the last few weeks to prepare our taxes. The other night we were reviewing and comparing different years, and reflecting back on the financial journey we've taken in the past 5 years. In January, 2009, we left the family business in Cincinnati, OH and moved to Provo, UT to finish school. Although we had a little bit of money in savings, it was alarming how quickly it disappeared after moving cross-country, having a baby and living off a part-time student job. We quickly turned to student loans and credit cards. Upon graduation in August, we found ourselves with no job, no money, and no clue of what to do next. The one good thing about not having a job is that we were able to spend a lot of time in the temple. And after much prayer, fasting, and consideration, we felt impressed that we needed to pick up and move to Boise, Idaho. Marc had two job interviews and we were hopeful that at least one of them would pan out. We found out on the same day, with back-to-back phone calls, that he had come in second in both of them. That was a dark day. We felt like we had been doing everything right, and then, bam, squashed right back down again. Friends and family provided ways for us to work and earn just enough to make the rent payment each month. It wasn't until January of 2010 that Marc got a full-time job. Though we finally had a steady income, it felt like we were being buried alive by the huge amounts of credit card debt and loans that we had taken out. J. Reuben Clark said in the April 1938 conference:

"Once in debt, interest is your companion every minute of the day and night; you cannot shun it or slip away from it; you cannot dismiss it; it yields neither to entreaties, demands, or orders; and whenever you get in its way or cross its course or fail to meet its demands, it crushes you."

The scriptures tell us in Provers 22:7, "The borrower is servant to the lender." Taking upon us any debt puts us in bondage. The word "bondage" in the topical guide gives these references:

2 Ne 1:13 shake off the awful chains by which ye are bound
Alma 13:30 bound down by the chains of hell
Mosiah 16:5 devil hath all power over him
2 Ne 28:22 his awful chains, from whence there is no deliverance

Bondage is like having a ball and chain tied to you. It stays with you and only gets heavier. In his October, 2013 Conference talk, Elder Cook says "Our challenge is to avoid bondage of any kind". He says "Bondage, subjugation, addictions and servitude come in many forms. They can be literal physical enslavement but can also be loss, or impairment of moral agency that can impede our progress...the impact of drugs and alcohol, immorality, pornography, gambling, financial subjugation and other afflictions imposes on those in bondage and on society a burden of such magnitude that is almost impossible to quantify."

We tried to ignore the debt for awhile. But knowing you owe somebody money eats at you. We couldn't make any progress as a family. We weren't communicating with each other about it. Both of us had this burden that was starting to destroy us and our marriage. It was like an invisible wedge coming in between us.

President Heber J. Grant said "If there is any one thing that will bring peace and contentment into the human heart and into the family, it is to live within our means. And if there is any one thing that is grinding adn discouraging and disheartening, it is to have debts and obligations that one cannot meet"

President Hinckley said "We are carrying a message of self-reliance throughout the church. Self-reliance cannot obtain when there is serious debt hanging over a household. One has neither independence nor freedom from bondage when he is obligated to others."

In October or November of 2010, we finally realized that we couldn't just hope the money problems would go away. We finally sat down with each other and had some difficult conversations, but were finally able to get on the same page. On December 1st I wrote "I feel like the year 2009 was the year that we dug a hole of debt to climb into and hang out in until the storms passed. The year 2010 has been a year that we've spent trying to 1) climb out of the hole, and 2)start to fill it back in with a fork instead of a shovel. I think one of the hardest things about this year has been the overwhelming weight of the debt that we owe. I hate the feeling of owing money, and I'm tired of the stress and pain its causing in my life. We're trying to make headway but just haven't had the right tools or knowhow as how to go about doing it...Both Marc and I now feel encouragement and confidence that we can payback the debt we owe with a plan that will take the fork we've been using, turn it into a spoon, then a shovel, and hopefully a backhoe....I'm ready to take this by the horns and get it out of my life for good....For the first time in our married life, I'm excited about taking control of our finances and feeling peace about them. "

We celebrated New Year's Eve that year by cutting up the credit cards. We learned that a "budget" is not a swear word, but rather a plan for your money so that it doesn't control you. Getting started was a slow process for us. We first tried to save up $1000 in an emergency fund, so that we weren't running for the credit cards every time something happened that we weren't anticipating. The first thing we paid off was our car, and then we used that money into paying off the next deb.

2011 was a turning point for us. We moved out here to Caldwell. I got a part-time job teaching swim lessons at the YMCA, and for the first time, my husband and I had the same financial goals and we both knew where every dollar was going. We became very aware of the blessings of tithing. In the July 2002 Ensign talk "Climbing Out of Debt" it says "When we pay our tithes, the Lord can bless us so that our unexpected challenges are minimized and so that we are better able to manage the resources we have. The windows of heaven were truly opened. In especially tight months, we'd find huge bags of clothes that were practically brand new for the kids. We never went without. We were always able to pay the bills.

On Monday, April 16, 2012 I wrote:

When I race, I give it my all at the end. That final sprint where you put everything into moving your body as quickly as possible to get to the finish line. It's typically known as a "kick". We're in that last kick right now, only, it's with our budget. This month has been tight. The kind of "tight" where you look around the garage and wonder how much you could get for something just to have some wiggle room. I picked up Saturday lessons to bring in a tiny bit more income. Marc and I have fought more over finances this month, than ever before. We're up against two things right now, paying off the student loan, and trying to have enough money afterwards that we can celebrate our 10th anniversary. Marc's parents are even coming out to stay with our kids so we can get away, it's important for us to get away! I've been sorely tempted numerous times to delay the student loan payment a month, and putting all that money into our trip...but we're trying hard to finish something that's been so important to us, and our trip is more of the celebration of that, to do so otherwise would go against every thing we've been working towards. My kids have stopped complaining that we don't have juice, and I've made a lot more things from scratch that I ever did before. We don't just run to the store when we're out of milk or eggs, we find ways to go without it or use powdered until the next shopping trip. The bad news, we've really depleted our food storage, and my husband has lost a lot of weight! But......2 more weeks, if we can make it 2 more weeks, we're golden!

It took us 26 months to pay off our debt, but we did it! We became debt-free! We are currently working on a long-term emergency fund so that we don't ever have to go through this again. My kids will be safe, and it feels awesome! I know that the Lord made it possible for us to liberate ourselves from the bondage of debt. There were doors and windows open that we wouldn't have ever thought possible for ourselves.

If you have ever felt like you are bound by the chains of hell, watching the dirt of bondage being poured over you, whether it is in the form of addiction, debt, or sin, there is hope. There is Light. Look Up. Elder Cook says "We must always remember that we do not save ourselves. We are liberated by the love, grace, and atoning sacrifice of the Savior. When Lehi's family fled, they were led by the Lord's light. If we are true to His light, follow His Commandments and rely on His merits, we will avoid spiritual, physical, and intellectual bondage as well as the lamentation of wandering in our own wilderness, for He is mighty to save". Amen.

Never in my life have I had the kind of response from a talk that I've given at church than this one. I felt like our ward needed this talk, and in a way, I feel like I've been being prepared for a few months to give it. Not trying to toot my own horn, it was overwhelming to have so many people come up afterwards, call me, text me, and even a member of the Stake Presidency who was in the audience e-mailed me. Marc keeps teasing me now and telling me to get ready for Stake Conference. If that happens, so be it I guess. I only want to share in hopes that it will help someone else. To let them know that they can do it and feel hope again.