unplugged

I came home tonight from a class that I've been taking the last couple of weeks (I'll talk about that later) and felt overwhelmed by my negative thought patterns that have developed in my life--which in turn have created negative actions, negative attitude, and just downright unhappiness. I hate how I have intentions....and rarely ACT out on them. Things that I want to change so badly, and either never start, or try to start and quickly fall right back into old patterns. And I feel like its every aspect of my life....my callings in church, my role as a mother, my role as a wife, as a daughter and a sister, a teacher, a friend. I've become unplugged from the things that matter most to me and replaced them with void nothingness. Lately, I've just felt so disappointed in myself, so quick to anger, so sloppy, and lacking in self-discipline. I want that deep breath of fresh air---and I want to make changes in my life that are going to stick. I want to matter. Being complacent with my life isn't getting me anywhere and I hate how it feels right now. I feel like I'm stuck in the same old chorus of a song that I've song a hundred times before, and its time to move on to the next verse....even better a next song, but I can't move on until I finish this one. Today, I vow to become plug myself back into the things that I care about most, and unplug the things that don't. I'm making my plan, and I'm establishing order. I'm tired of reacting, and complacency. I don't care how hard it is, or feels.....Things have got to change. I'm not an angry, negative person and I've allowed myself to become one dragging my family with me. It begins today.